Tuesday, January 1, 2013

ARC REVIEW: Hopeless by Colleen Hoover


Title: Hopeless
Author: Colleen Hoover
Pages: 391
Publisher: Self-Published
Date Published: December 19, 2012
Format: eBook
Source: Received from Author for Honest Review

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Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of just one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past that she wishes could just stay buried.

Sky struggles to keep him at a distance knowing he’s nothing but trouble, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. After finally caving to his unwavering pursuit, Sky soon finds that Holder isn’t at all who he’s been claiming to be. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever.

My Thoughts:
There is absolutely no way that I will be able to write a review that will do justice to how Hopeless truly made me feel.  I've read dozens of reviews that talked about how they read Hopeless in one sitting, never putting the book down.  It was totally the opposite for me.  The more I read, the more I had to pause.  Not because I didn't want to continue, but because my emotions were going crazy.  Even when I wasn't reading, Hopeless is all I thought about.  It consumed me and left me gasping for air.  It made heart skip a beat, only to send it pounding erratically later.  Emotionally, I simply couldn't keep up.  All of my emotions are still a jumbled up mess.  I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry.  I needed to scream in fury and frustration, and I needed a hug.  A real hug, the kind where all of your pent up feelings burst free, and you wonder how you can even continue to stand upright. I loved every single word of Hopeless, and I hated every single word. There is nothing about Hopeless that I would change, yet I want to change everything. I know this makes no sense, and until you read Hopeless for yourself you really won't understand. I loved this book completely, but I have never had a fictional story break me so utterly. 
“It's amazing what the sound of a voice you've been longing to hear can do to your heart. He spoke five words just now, but in the time it took him to speak those five words, my heart was shredded and minced, then placed back inside my chest with the expectation that it should somehow know how to beat again.”
Sky is one of the most amazing characters I've ever met. She is so fragile, and she doesn't even realize it. From the outside looking in you see a sheltered, but normal teen.  She has a somewhat normal family life with her adopted mother, Karen, and her best friend, Six, lives next door.  While she puts up the front of a semblance of normalcy, she admits to having no feelings at all when it comes the boys she's had in her life.  But, all of that changes when she meets Holder.  He is the first guy that has ever given her that sense of butterflies, to make her heart skip a beat.  She finds herself swooning over a guy for the first time, yet there is also something about him that terrifies her.
“I can already tell he isn't the kind of guy a girl gets a simple crush on. He's the kind of guy you fall hard for, and the thought of that terrifies me.”

Dean Holder has his own demons. He has a bad boy reputation, but no one knows the real Holder. When he meets Sky he's drawn to her. Everything about Holder screams savior, yet he needs saving himself. Together, Sky and Holder open a floodgate of heart-breaking emotions, and they have no choice but to cling to each other and see it all through to the end. 
“You have to let it go. You can hold on to the hate and the love and even the bitterness, but you have to go of the blame. The blame is what's tearing you down, babe."
The dynamics of the relationship between Sky and Holder are mesmerizing. I love that even in the most messed up of situations Holder can manage to make Sky laugh. The connection between the two of them is so intense. I love the way Holder brings out such raw feelings in Sky. He manages to peel back the protective shell that Sky has around herself. He makes her feel.  
“We won’t go any further than this, I promise. But please don’t ask me to stop where we already are. I need to watch you and I need to hear you because the fact that I know you’re actually feeling this right now is so fucking amazing. You feel incredible and this feels incredible and please. Just… please.”
“And once again in my new world full of heartache and lies, this hopeless boy somehow finds a way to make me smile.”
Hopeless is dark. It's raw and heart-breaking, and it will leave you sobbing.  Just when you think you can't handle any more truth, things get uglier. When you think you have it all figured out...you don't.  But, it's also an amazingly beautiful story about friendship, love and truth and uncovering all of your scars so that you can learn to heal.  When you think it's all about to fall apart, the pieces begin to come together.  I fell completely in love with this book, even while it was breaking my heart into a million pieces.  Hopeless is a story that will forever be etched in my heart. 
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